EPISODE III -THE ICEBERG

As we entered the canteen ,we were greeted with a bunch of gulab jamuns. Now this was a first. Our canteen has been a messy place all these years. But now, just when we were about to graduate, it is spick and span. And they are adding these new things on the menu like fruit punch, manchuria, noodles, imported chocolates and stuff. Where were all these things earlier? Somehow this always happens to me. The best things happen after I leave. In my school , they started excursions after I left. Imagine the breadth of experiences you can have on an excursion..especially in a co-ed school. Big loss. Then they bought more buses.Until my stay there,students were cramped like engg text books in a girls handbag. You had to smell other students, their tiffins, weird stuff in their bags...only the driver and the big bullies got to sit properly. Then in my junior college, we had all these bright lecturers. They were hard taskmasters..

"Ah, work out 15 calculus exercises for tomorrow dears!",
"Read up your French lessons guys! Slip test coming up!!",
"I want that 50-page assignment or your dead body at my table tomorrow by 9:30 AM sharp."
"I asked you to memorise the whole book , and you leave out the preface!How insincere can you get!?"

...you get the drift. Ok, well, after I passed out (no pun), these lecturers quit, apparently for greener pastures. I hear things are very enjoyable there now.

Back at the canteen, we sat in a rather empty place. They took the long side of the table and I was opposite them. As we settled down in our chairs, the sight of three people seated before me reminded me of one of those stress-interview panels.
(They either don't let you answer fully or they don't accept your full answer.)

"So A, where did you get that idea of writing about our internal chaos in that style?", asked Priyanka. Ah, so someone read that post.

"You know ,sometimes creativity is about observing your surroundings and rearranging them.", I said, trying to sound intellectual. She looked at me as though she dropped a rupee into a weight machine and didn't get a response. I looked at the other two..two more rupees lost.

"So how was your recent GD at IIM man?", asked Meena, saving me some embarrassment.

"Ya, it went off pretty ..", I started.

"What was the topic??", she asked impatiently.

"The topic was 'The foundation of ..' ", I tried , but -

"Hah, my Satyam selection GD was the best. Our topic was 'Role of Women in the development of India'. I was the big authority on that topic. I mean, who better than a woman to talk on these things?", Priyanka asserted. I nodded obediently.

"Our topic was like really cool. I don't remember what it was but I and Ashish were the only ones talking throughout the GD.", Aakanksha said, "The moderators were really impressed.. ".

"But our moderator was put off you know", Meena cut in, "'Coz no one spoke when he said start. Not even Murali. The fact is no one knew what the topic meant (PILs are bad). The mod shouted at us, but still no one started. He stood up on the chair shouted and threatened to hang himself from the fan if no one spoke. Obviously, he couldn't as he didn't have a rope. I was going to laugh but you have to admire his resourcefulness when he started pulling out his belt."...I think the other two were nodding away ,but my mouth and eyes were wide open.

She continued, "Eventually,I started saying something and saved the poor guy's life.He still remembers me for.."

Priyanka came back, "Well thats nothing. In my GD, the moderator was pulling his hair out. Why? Because he couldn't get anyone but me to talk. It was more like an extempore out there..Infact, he was so impressed even by my substance that he asked me after the GD if I wanted to start a political party."

"Tho kya?(So what?) I made such an impression on my mod that he took my blessings..", Akanksha boasted.

Now all three were in full flow. Now and again, one was cutting off the other. As someone without as much substance as them, I was mute. But there is a boiling point for everything. After all, I need not be a mute. I stood up and shouted, "ENOUGH!".

I wish someone noticed. They continued rattling. This was a match between the champions of chatter. They could readily become radio jockeys. Over the ensuing long minutes, someone's irritating buzzer emerged louder and louder in the background until finally the three locomotives ground to a halt. It was Priyanka's cell. It looked as though even our inanimate surroundings had had enough of this. She switched it off and peered into the distance ..she was trying to remember why she put the alarm.

"Hey, I have to pay my fees yaar! Lets go. Achyuta? Nice talking. Catch you later.", she said.

"Ok, then.", I smiled. Again, no one noticed. Getting up hurriedly, the other two followed her out of the canteen, totally forgetting that they just left something unfinished. Wait, they finished me off.

Now I was alone in the canteen. Oh, there were the cooks inside, but one never really gets to know them. They completely ignore all but those with bright yellow coupons. Time to meet the Cognizant Head I thought, and left feeling changed. Maybe like those poor students who left the seminar hall earlier in the morning. I may have escaped the seminar in the morning, but one just can't escape one's fate.